Daddy Vince
by xxquirpxx
Summary: Howard has always looked after Vince, but when Howard accidently drinks water from the fountain of youth Vince has to look after Howard for a change.
1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet Sunday morning in the Nabootique. Howard was running the shop, Naboo and Bollo were food shopping in the local Tescos and Vince was just waking up.

"Howard, can you make me some cereal please?" Vince called down.

"I'm trying to run the shop, do it yourself," Howard called up to Vince.

"It's Sunday, there won't be anybody around," Vince said, hoping that he was right.

Howard sighed. Vince was completely right. "Fine, I'll be right up," he groaned.

Howard sometimes felt like Vince's dad. He washed Vince's clothes, cooked his food, he'd even started giving Vince pocket money to make sure that the Nabootique didn't go bankrupt.

When Howard got up to the flat Vince was sitting on the sofa daydreaming. Howard poured Vince some Cookie Crisp and carried it over to him. "Cheers Howard," Vince smiled.

"When are you going to start doing things for yourself Vince? You're meant to be an adult," The older man pointed out. Vince shrugged and started eating his breakfast.

Howard made his way to the kitchen to get a drink. He swung the fridge door open and found a bottle of Ribena. When Howard drank the Ribena he noticed two things: the first one was that it tasted odd and the second one was that he suddenly felt really tired.

"Hey Howard, come and look at this," Vince shouted from the living room. Howard stumbled into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa.

"Are you ok?" Vince asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm just really tired and..." Howard passed out before he could finish his sentence.

"Howard? Howard!" Vince shook his friend to try and wake him up, but Howard stayed slumped against the sofa.

Vince quickly ran into his room where his phone was charging. "Hurry up," he growled at it as it took what felt like a number of decades for it to turn on. When it eventually turned on Vince rang Naboo.

"Hey Vince what's up?" Naboo asked.

"It's Howard, he went into the kitchen, I called him from the living room but when he came in he said he was tired and passed out on the sofa," Vince panicked.

"Ok, stay calm. Me and Bollo'll be home in 10 minutes," the shaman reassured him.

Vince hung up and went to check on Howard. Little did Vince know he'd be in for the shook of his life. Where Howard had been on the sofa was a small toddler who was awake and looking around.

"Vince?" the child called out. Vince took one look at him and screamed.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HOWARD?" he shouted.

"I am Howawd," the toddler said, his lip trembling slightly. Now that he had said that, Vince could see some of the adult version of the jazz freak. He had Howard's smoke-like brown hair and his eyes were identical, only on a child they looked about the same size as a normal person's eyes. The child was also drowning in the clothes that Howard had been wearing earlier that day.

"You do kinda look like Howard I guess," Vince sighed.

"I'm Howawd and you're Vince. Vince, where is Naboo and Bollo?" the young boy grinned. Vince sat down next to Howard on the sofa.

"They went to go shopping, remember?" Vince smiled at the toddler version of Howard.

"When are they back? I wanna hug," Howard giggled and threw his arms around the slightly shocked Vince.

"Ok what happened to the no touching rule?" Vince laughed and hugged Howard back.

"Can I has some sweeties? Pwease?" Howard looked up at Vince innocently.

"Yeah ok let's have a sweet party; it's a genius idea," Vince said excitedly "Stay there while I get some sweets," Vince ran off to the kitchen in search of some bootlaces.

A couple of minutes later Vince ran into the living room, his arms full of sweets. Howard reached his arms out and Vince filled the little boy's arms with sugary treats.

"Yummy yummy yummy," Howard sang as he shoved sweets into his mouth. Vince starred at him and looked slightly afraid.

"Don't eat too much or you'll be sick," Vince warned him. But the toddler took no notice and continued to eat. When Howard had eventually finished eating his pupils went huge and he stared at Vince.

"!" Howard shouted and started running around the flat.

"Oh shit," Vince groaned to himself "HOWARD GET HERE RIGHT NOW!" Vince yelled and began chasing Howard.

Howard giggled and screamed with excitement. Vince eventually managed to grab him just as Naboo and Bollo walked through the door.

"FINALLY, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Vince screamed at them.

"We came as soon as we could," Bollo grunted.

"Vince, please tell me you didn't give him sweets," Naboo groaned.

"I didn't know he was gonna go mental," Vince said handing Howard to Naboo.

"NABOOLIO!" Howard cheered.

"Howard, did you drink anything from the fridge this morning?" Naboo asked.

Howard thought for a while and nodded "It looked kinda like Ribena but it tasted funny," Howard said.

"I got a bad feeling about this," Bollo said to Vince.

Naboo groaned "He drank some water from the fountain of youth. I put some Ribena in to give it some more flavour so I could drink it later,"

"Sowwie," Howard looked tearful.

"It's ok," Naboo sighed and hugged Howard so that he wouldn't cry.

"What are we gonna do?" Vince asked.

"Me and Bollo are gonna have to go to Dennis and see if we can find a cure. You're gonna have to look after Howard," Naboo said.

"What, I don't know the first thing about children," Vince said.

"Vince you're gonna have to. Howard's your best friend. I know he'd do the same for you and if you need help just ring me," Naboo convinced Vince.

"Ok I'll try. How long do you think you're gonna be?" Vince asked.

"A couple of days maybe. But hey, you can go shopping to buy him some stuff," Naboo grinned as Vince's eyes lit up and Howard looked fearful.


	2. Chapter 2

Howard looked at Naboo, his eyes were even bigger with fear and he looked like he was about to cry. "Pwease Naboolio pwease don't make me go shopping," the little boy cried.

Naboo sighed, "I'm sorry but you have to and anyway you need clothes that fit you. Vince'll buy you some toys too," Howard's face lit up at this.

"Really?" Howard looked at Vince who nodded. "LET'S GO NOW!" Howard screamed.

Naboo laughed and gave Vince his credit card.

"Come on Vince," Howard wriggled down from Naboo's hold, grabbed Vince's hand and dragged him out of the flat.

"I got a bad feeling about this," Bollo said.

Vince had decided that it would probably be best if he took Howard to one toy shop, brought him some toys, went clothes shopping and then if Howard tried to escape or something he could bribe him with ice cream.

"Let's go to this one Vince," Howard grinned pointing to one which to Vince's joy was next to Topshop.

"Yeah ok. We'll just go to one but then we need to go clothes shopping," Howard's face fell as Vince said this.

"We don't have to, these clothes fits me," as Howard spoke the pair of boxers that belonged to Vince that Howard had been using as shorts fell down to reveal his briefs that Naboo had tightened with safety pins.

"I don't think so," Vince tried not to laugh as he sorted the embarrassed Howard out.

"Can we just get one outfit and then go to the toys shops?" Howard asked in a small voice.

"Ok," Vince grinned.

Half an hour later Howard and Vince were still in the children's section of Topshop. They had spent the last 10 minutes arguing over a red pair of jeans that Vince had found, e thought that they were perfect for Howard and they made Howard want to be sick.

"Come on Howard they look genius," Vince pleaded with the two year old.

"No, they make my eyes bleed," Howard whined.

"That child version of your tweed jacket makes my eyes bleed," Vince gestured to the suit which Howard was holding.

"Those jeans are for girls," Howard yelled, drawing attention to them.

"Would you calm down? I'll buy you all the toys you want if you promise to wear these jeans at least once and drop that suit," Vince growled.

"Fine," Howard moaned.

Vince grinned in victory. He couldn't believe that even as a child Howard had no fashion sense.

"Can we go now?" Howard grumbled.

"Ok, just let me grab some more outfits for you," Vince knew that he could grab whatever he wanted for Howard now. Vince quickly grabbed all of the clothes that he deemed "suitable" and ran to the check out before Howard could get anymore impatient.

"Finally," Howard grabbed Vince's free hand, dragged him out of the shop and into the toy shop.

"I've never actually been to a toy shop," Vince told Howard

"Toy shops is fun," Howard beamed, grabbing Vince's hand and dragging him towards the cuddly toys.

"Aww these are cute," Vince said picking up a little black bunny.

"Can I has him?" Howard pleaded.

"Ok," Vince grinned.

"Can I call him Vince?" the little boy asked shyly.

"Yeah sure, he's your bunny," Vince smiled at how shy Howard was.

The bunny was all that Howard wanted toy wise and the toddler was starting to complain about being hungry so Vince took him home.

"Can I has cheese on toast pwease Vincey?" Howard was sitting on the sofa watching a children's show that Vince had managed to find.

"Ok. What do you want to drink?" Vince called from the kitchen.

"Milk,"

Vince gave Howard his milk and went back to the kitchen. _How the hell do you make cheese on toast? _Vince thought to himself. He looked around the kitchen and managed to find some cheese and some bread. Vince cut the cheese into small slices, put it on the bread and put it in the toaster

"Vince, your phone's ringing," Howard ran into the kitchen with Vince's phone.

"Cheers Howard," Vince smiled down at the boy and answered his phone. "Hello?"

"_Hey Vince it's Naboo. How are you guys doing?"_

"Alright thanks. This whole parenting thing is going well..." as Vince spoke Howard pulled at Vince's shirt. "One sec Naboo. What's up I'm on the phone?"

"The toaster doesn't look so good," Howard pointed to the now smoking toaster.

"SHIT WHAT'S IT DOING?" Vince screamed, dropped his phone, unplugged the toaster and threw it out of the window.

"_What's going on?" _Naboo's voice demanded from Vince's phone.

Howard picked Vince's phone up. "The toaster burning and Vince said a bad word and he threw the toaster outa the window, "Howard giggled down the phone.

"Howard give me my phone and go watch the telly," Vince said gently but firmly.

Howard handed Vince his phone and ran off giggling.

"_Are you ok?" _Naboo asked.

"I don't know Naboo, Howard's ok to look after but this whole cooking thing is well hard," Vince looked out the window where the smoking toaster was now lying in the street in pieces.

"_Bollo's got some cook books in his room. But in the mean time just make Howard a cheese sandwich or something," _

"Ok cheers Naboo I'd better go," Vince hung up and started making two cheese sandwiches for himself and Howard.

"Vince,"

"Yeah Howard?" Vince put down his sandwich and looked at Howard.

"Will the toaster be ok? I shouldn't be dead and stuff," Howard looked upset.

"Umm yeah don't worry it'll be ok," Vince reassured Howard and made a mental note to buy a new toaster.

Howard finished his sandwich and yawned.

"Oooh I think somebody's tired," Vince sang.

"I'm not tired," the little boy yawned and cuddled his bunny. Howard let Vince carry him to their bedroom. Vince tried not to smile at how quickly his friend was falling asleep as he put Howard's new sparkly blue and red pyjamas on him and tuck him into bed with Vince the bunny.

"Night," Vince whispered and started to walk out.

"Vince, pwease stay," Howard called out.

"Ok," Vince lay down on Howard's bed and stayed with the boy while he slept.


	3. Chapter 3

As Vince watched the toddler version of Howard sleep he began to feel his own eyelids close. Vince let sleep take him.

What seemed like just a few minutes later Vince woke to Howard shaking him.

"Vince, Vince," Howard shook Vince.

"Yeah what's up?" Vince mumbled.

"I'm hungry and it's dead late,"

Vince shot up when Howard said this. "What time is it?" Vince asked.

"I dunno. I can't tell the time remember," Howard said sadly.

"Oh yeah, sorry," Vince rolled over and looked at the bedside clock. "It's half 5 so we've been asleep for..." Vince counted the hours on his fingers "... 3 and a half hours,"

"What's for tea?" Howard asked.

"Ummm, do you fancy going down the chippy?" Vince inwardly cursed at his lack of culinary skills.

"Chippy is yummy!" the little boy started jumping up and down with excitement.

Vince grinned at Howard's excitement but this excitement stopped as soon as Howard saw what Vince had brought for him in Topshop.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF JAZZ FUNK IS THAT?" Howard screamed when he saw what Vince was holding up.

"Alright easy, it's not even that bad," Vince said crossly looking at the mini black Chelsea Boots, and the zebra suit that he had picked out for Howard.

"I'm not a zebara person. Why would I want to look like one?" Howard pouted.

"Because you have to look good. Anyway, you didn't complain about your pyjamas," Howard looked down at the sparkly blue and red pyjamas.

"Fine, I so hungry I don't even care no more," Howard grumbled and let Vince dress him again.

"Aww Howard, I don't think you've ever looked this good before," Vince grinned at his handy work.

"Can we just go 'n' get food?" the toddler grumbled.

After Vince had redone his hair and makeup (it would have normally taken him at least an hour to touch his appearance up but Howard's moaning had taken this time down to just 10 minutes) they made it to the chip shop that was just down the road from the Nabootique.

"What can I get ya?" a middle aged woman winked at Vince.

"A medium portion of chips, two small fish and some tartar sauce please," Vince smiled back.

"That's £8.65 please darlin' and listen, I'm off in about an hour if you wanna have some fun," the woman grinned and played with her hair.

"Umm, that sounds great but I've gotta sort the little one and his sister out before I go out with the wife," Vince smoothly lied.

"Can I pay the lady pwease daddy?" Howard said playing along. Vince nodded, gave Howard the money and picked his friend up so that he could reach the counter.

"Thanks honey," the woman said less enthusiastically taking the money from Howard and giving him his change. "Your food's gonna be ready in a couple of minutes if you wanna take a seat," she pointed to some chairs.

"Thanks," Vince said, made his way over to a chair and sat down with Howard on his knee. As the woman was making Vince and Howard's food she kept giving Vince what she thought were sexy looks, but would make a normal person run a mile.

Eventually when their food was ready Vince quickly grabbed the bag and left.

"Thanks for playing along so well you little genius," Vince beamed at Howard.

"It's ok, she was a strange lady. I didn't like her," Howard pouted.

When they got back to the flat Vince dished their food up and sat infront of the TV with the toddler. As Howard ate his dinner he somehow managed to get more of it on himself then in his mouth. Vince hadn't noticed this earlier, whether it was because Howard only had a sandwich to eat or if it was because of the toaster stress he didn't know.

"I think I'm gonna have to give you a bath," Vince groaned at little Howard.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DON'T LIKE BATH!" Howard screamed and ran off before Vince could even blink.

Vince sighed and headed towards the bathroom. He thought that if he ran a bath first it would save time and Howard would get tired so that he couldn't put up a fight.

Vince found some bubble bath and poured about half the bottle in. "Shit!" he whispered as the bubbles began to overflow and got near his clothes. He bolted back to his bedroom like a horse and changed into his bathing suit so that his clothes would be safe before returning to the bathroom.

The bath was now full (even though it only had about 6 inches of water in it) so Vince set out to find the scared toddler.

Vince decided to start with their bedroom "Howard, come on it's only a bath," Vince called. He turned around and look at Howard's bed where there was a lump. "Howard I know you're under there," Vince sighed and pulled back the blanket.

"I don't wanna bath," the toddler pouted.

"Yeah, but you need one," Vince quickly grabbed Howard before he could run off again.

"Bath is scary," Howard cried.

"Why?" Vince asked gently.

"It's all big and stuff,"

"I won't leave you I promise," Howard relaxed as Vince said this.

"Ok then, but I wanna bedtime stowie," the toddler looked up at Vince.

"Alright," Vince grinned and started undressing the child.

"Vince, why are you in a swimmin' costume?" Howard asked.

"Because the bath is mostly bubbles and I don't want my clothes to get hurt," Vince explained.

Vince soon found out that he was right to wear a swimming costume. "Careful," he panicked as Howard splashed him with bubbles and about half of the water in the bathtub.

"Sowwie," Howard grinned.

Vince quickly finished washing Howard and wrapped him in a bath towel, before seeing his wet hair in the mirror and screaming.

"What's wrong Vince?" the toddler yawned.

"MY HAIR!" Vince screamed in a voice that would be high enough to break a glass.

"It look nice," Howard pointed up at Vince's hair which was plastered to his face.

"You're too nice," Vince sighed and brushed it before taking Howard back to the bedroom and getting him ready for bed.

"Can I has a stowie like you promised?" Howard yawned again.

"Ok," Vince said as he tucked Howard into bed. "One day Charlie was bored, so he decided to prank call people. He got his phone from a pocket that he had in his hat and looked through his phone book. He found the number for where his girlfriend Kimberley worked, Reynholm Industries and decided to call them." Vince looked down and Howard was asleep with Vince the bunny.

Vince crept across the room and started to straighten his hair. When he finished he went into Bollo's room to look for the cookery book Naboo had told him about. The book was called "Cooking for Gorillas". Vince had a quick scan through and saw that most of the recipes involved bananas.

Vince sighed and looked at the time on his phone, 22:37. He'd heard from Leroy that toddlers usually got up early, so Vince thought that it would be a good idea to go to bed. He undressed as quietly as he could, turned the light off and crawled into bed.

Howard woke with a start, there was a thunder storm outside and he was terrified. The young child whimpered and clung tighter to his toy bunny. Howard looked over at Vince's bed where his older friend was tossing and turning. Howard sighed and padded over to the other bed.

"Vince, Vince," Howard whimpered as he shook Vince.

"What?" Vince asked tiredly.

"There's a thunder storm and I'm scared," the little boy broke down and sat on the floor crying.

Vince woke up at this point and looked at his friend on the floor. "Hey, shhh it's ok it's ok," Vince gently picked Howard up and cradled him like a baby.

Howard sobbed into Vince's shoulder as Vince rubbed circles in his friend's back. "Can me and Vince sleep with you tonight?" Howard asked when he'd stopped crying.

"Yeah sure," Vince smiled and put Howard and little Vince in his bed before getting in himself. The thunder crackled outside again and Howard shuddered. "The thunder's not scary, it's just the moon and his mates bowling," Vince told the boy.

"Really?" Howard asked.

"Yeah, now come on it's 3 in the morning and I'm tired," Vince grinned. Howard cuddled closer to Vince and they both fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Vince work up early the next morning, well 9:30 to him was very early. He was surprised to see that Howard was still asleep next to him. Vince noticed that his friend didn't look very good. Howard slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Vince.

"You ok? You look kind of ill," Vince looked worriedly at his young friend.

"I don't feel so good. My head hurts and I feel..." Howard was suddenly sick all over Vince's bed. Vince scooped Howard up and ran as fast as he could to the bathroom.

"It's ok, just let it all out," Vince soothed Howard as he threw up what Vince thought was more than what could fit in most adults' bodies.

Howard groaned when he was finished "Sorry about sicking on your bed," he said in a small voice.

"It's ok I can put it in the wash, probably. Do you feel better?" Vince asked.

"A bit, but my head is hurtin',"

"Can you watch TV while I ring Naboo and clean up?" Vince carried Howard into the living room and brought him little Vince, Howard's duvet, pillow and a bucket, just to be on the safe side.

Vince sighed and pulled his phone out. "Hey Naboo we have a problem,"

"_What is it Vince?" _The shaman asked him.

"Howard's been sick, says he's got a headache and I don't know what to do," Vince's voice broke a bit towards the end.

"_Look don't cry, I know it's hard but you need to stay strong for Howard. Didn't you have flu the other week?" _Vince groaned at the memory _"You must have somehow passed it on to Howard. Just keep him wrapped up in a blanket, give him some dry toast and some soup later if he's feeling up to it. I'll ring you later,"_

"Thanks Naboo. How's the cure coming along?" Vince felt a bit better.

"_It's going ok. I think we've got 2 options,"_

"Cool what are they?"

"_We can let him grow up or we make a potion that will take a few days to work,"_

"Ok, I like the second one. When are you coming back?"

"_I think we can make it back tomorrow,"_

"Good. I'd better go, cya tomorrow," Vince hung up and walked slowly back to his bedroom, which was now beginning to stink of sick.

The electro boy grimaced as he stripped his bed and carried his bedding at arm's length to the washing machine. Vince chucked the sheets into the washing machine and looked at the dials on the washing machine in confusion. The washing powder that he put in the machine said that it worked at 30 degrees, so he turned the dial on the machine and hoped for the best.

"Vince!" the toddler cried from the living room.

"Yeah?" Vince asked when he got to his friend.

"I has a headache," Howard moaned.

"Ok, I'll see if we have any painkillers," Vince walked back to the kitchen, delved deep into the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of Calpol that was still in date. He grabbed a spoon and went back to Howard.

"Howard I found some Calpol," Vince grinned.

Howard sat up and groaned as the pain in his head worsened. He opened his mouth and let Vince give him some medicine.

"How long does it take to work?" the toddler demanded.

"I don't know. Do I look like a doctor?" Vince tried not to laugh as Howard pouted "Try and get some sleep," Vince stroked Howard's hair until the little boy fell asleep.

When Vince was sure that Howard was asleep he crept into the kitchen to see if they had any food. The only food they had was a packet of sugar and even Vince knew that this wasn't enough. The electro boy decided that he would have to find someone to babysit Howard while he went food shopping. Vince scrolled through the contact list in his phone; he knew that Howard wouldn't want to be left with a total stranger so he had to settle for Bob Fossil.

"Hello, Fossil?"

"_HEY VINCEY! HOW'S MY LITTLE GOLDMINE?" _Fossil screamed down the phone.

"Umm ok I guess. Look I need a favour. My nephew is staying with us and he's ill but I've got to go food shopping. You couldn't babysit him for a couple of hours could you?" Vince begged.

"_Can't Naboo, Bollo or Howard do it?" _  
>"Naboo and Bollo are on some stag weekend and Howard's in York," Vince quickly lied.<p>

"_Ok Vincey, just for you. I'll be there in 10 minutes," _Fossil sighed.

Vince hung up and went to have a quick shower before Bob Fossil arrived.

Ten minutes later Vince was still in the shower. Bob Fossil ran up the stairs like an over excited puppy. "VINCE, VINCE BOBBY BOB BOB'S HERE!" he screamed, waking Howard.

"WHO ARE YOU?" the startled toddler screamed.

"Hi, I'm Bob Fossil. Vince said that I gotta babysit you while he goes food shopping," Bob explained.

"Right... I don't know where Vince is. Maybe he's doin' his hair?" Howard slide off of the sofa and padded towards the bedroom.

"I'M COMING VINCEY!" Fossil pushed past Howard and ran towards the bedroom.

Vince was in the bedroom deciding on an outfit to wear when Fossil burst in. "WHAT YOU DOING?" Vince screamed, he was only wearing a pair of boxers.

"Sorry Vince, I didn't wanna disturb you," Bob crept closer and placed his hands on Vince's chest.

Vince stared down in fear "FUCK OFF YOU PSYCO I NEED TO GET DRESSED!" Fossil quickly ran back to the living room. Vince rolled his eyes and settled on a purple jumpsuit.

"Do you wanna sandwich or something?" Fossil asked.

"Yeah we don't have any food," Howard pointed out.

"Oh yeah," Bob grinned.

Vince walked into to living room. "Bob, this is my nephew...Gary," Howard turned green again when Vince said his and threw up into the bucket.

"You ok little guy?" Fossil patted Howard's back.

"He's not well. Anyway I'll try not to be too long," Vince grabbed Naboo's credit card and strolled out of the flat.

"That Vince really is something," Fossil gasped as he watched Vince leave.

"What d'ya mean?" Howard asked.

"Well... he's so amazing," the American smiled.

"Right... Can I pwease watch TV Mr Fossil?" Howard groaned.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" Bob screeched in fear and jumped behind the sofa.

"I erm... heard Uncle Vince talking to you," Howard quickly made up.

"Oh yeah," Fossil grinned and fell onto the sofa next to Howard, causing the toddler to bounce and promptly throw up again.

Meanwhile...

Vince ran around the large Tesco as fast as he could. Because it was a Saturday morning the supermarket was crowded with people doing their weekly shopping. As he dodged past women with small children, elderly people and other shoppers, Vince cursed inwardly about his lack of knowledge where anything was.

Vince grabbed anything that was brightly coloured and looked tasty, he even managed to grab some fruit from the fruit section and some more calpol incase Howard needed it. When he eventually made it to the checkouts the electro boy was greated by what looked like never ending lines.

"Bloody hell!" Vince growled under his breath, not noticing a tearful looking little girl, who looked a bit younger than Howard run up to him.

"Excuse me... I lost my mummy and I'm scared," she sobbed.

Vince sighed and tried his best to be patient "What does your mummy look like,"

"She's tall and she has long blonde hair like a pwincess," she grabbed on to Vince's hand.

"Ok, what is she wearing?" Vince asked.

"Blue jeans, a red t-shirt and trainers. But I think she need accessories," the girl looked a bit less shy now she was talking about clothes.

"Yeah, I think you're right sweetheart. I'm Vince, what's your name?"

"I'm Alex," Alex sucked her thumb.

"Maybe if you lift you up you might be able to see her," Vince said and bent down to Alex's level.

"Yeah Vince, that sounds cool," Vince lifted the little girl up and looked around. "There she is," Alex grinned and pointed to a frantic looking woman who ran up to them. "Mummy, this is Vince. He helped me find you,"

"Thank you so much. I was so worried. I'm Barbra by the way," the blonde woman said as Vince handed Alex over.

"Nice to meet you. Look I've got to go now, but I'll maybe see you around," Vince smiled.

"Bye bye," Alex blew a kiss to Vince.

By this time the lines had cleared and Vince managed to pay for his shopping before returning back to the Nabootique.

Vince was greated by a terrified looking Bob Fossil. "Vince, Vince, thank God you're back. Gary don't look so good. I gotta go," Fossil ran out of the Nabootique before Vince could say anything.

"What happened?" Vince sighed.

"He was being all gross saying that he fancies you or something and it made me puke," Howard wailed.

"Ok, fair enough," Vince made a mental note to avoid Fossil.

"Did you bring foodie?" Howard demanded.

"Yeah, but I don't think you should eat just yet,"

"Fine. I wanna watch Teletubbies with my fav person," Howard grinned. Vince groaned but sat down and endured what he thought was the worst show alive for his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I honestly had no idea what to write. Thank you to everybody who reads and reviews this, it really does mean a lot. Enjoy xxx**

It had been 2 hours since Vince had got back from food shopping, 2 hours since Howard had been sick and in Vince's opinion 2 hours too long of the Teletubbies.

"Can I has foodie pwease Vince?" Howard asked.

"Ok I guess, but I think you should just stick to dried toast for now incase you get sick again," Vince said remembering Naboo's advice.

"Ok," Howard groaned.

Vince walked into the kitchen and got out the bread that he had put away after coming back from shopping. He was about to take it out of the packet when he remembered that the toaster was dead. Vince inwardly swore but then noticed the grill. The electro boy broke into a grin when he had his idea.

It took about 10 minutes for the bread to become toast under the grill but Vince had done it, without blowing any kitchen appliances up. Naboo would be proud.

"Is it ready Vince?" the little boy mumbled as Vince came back into the living room.

"Yeah, sorry it took so long," Vince said handing his friend a plate.

"Why is there no nothing on this toast?" Howard asked puzzled.

"Naboo said you should have dry toast to help you not chuck up," Vince said.

"Is you gonna be eating?"

"Umm yeah, I'll just get a sandwich,"

Howard fixed Vince with a piercing stare as the now older man walked to the kitchen. "Make sure that you do," the toddler said sternly.

"Alright, alright. I thought I was the adult," Vince laughed.

"Maybe, but I has to take care of you too Vincey,"

"Why's that,"

Howard got up from the sofa and toddled into the kitchen where Vince was looking for some butter. "Because I loves you and I don't want you gettin' hurt," Howard wrapped his small toddler arms around Vince's legs.

"I love you too," Vince smiled and bent down to hug his friend back.

"Vince, I kinda have to go potty," Howard jumped around like young children do when they need the toilet.

"Ok, do you need any help?" Vince asked.

"I'm 2 and a half," Howard pouted.

"That's my point,"

"I'll try and do it on my own," Howard said and ran to the bathroom.

Vince rolled his eyes and carried on making his sandwich. About 5 minutes later Howard came back in."Is that better," Vince asked him.

"Ummm, I kinda couldn't reach the toilet," Howard said sheepishly.

"Yeah... what happened?" Vince's eyes grew wide with horror.

"I had to pee in Naboo's cauldron," Howard blushed.

"Seriously?" Vince started laughing.

"Yeah and I'm sorry Vince but you're gonna have to empty it,"

Vince immediately stopped laughing "Couldn't you empty it yourself?" he sighed.

"Vince, if I could of reached the toilet then I would have used it," the toddler pointed out.

"Fine, go watch the telly while I clean Naboo's cauldron," Vince growled and walked as slowly as he could to the bathroom.

Howard sighed and went to sit on the sofa. He hated having to be dependent on Vince, it just wasn't right. But Howard had to admit that it was kind of nice not having to act like Vince's wife. He could like without the toddler's body though.

Vince starred at the piss filled cauldron in fear. _Why couldn't he just attempt to reach the toilet_ Vince's brain cell screamed. He picked the cauldron up, held it at arm's length and poured the contents down the toilet. _That wasn't so bad _the brain cell sighed with relief and Vince filled the cauldron with water and shower gel and went back to the living room.

The electro boy could sense that his friend was feeling a bit upset when he walked into the room. Howard was buried under his duvet and Vince was sure he could hear sobbing.

"What's the matter?" Vince asked gently as he next to the duvet.

"I don't wanna be a toddler Vince," Howard wailed.

Vince pulled Howard out from under the duvet and rocked him under the toddler stopped crying. "Is that better?" Vince whispered. Howard nodded.

"I still feel ill,"

"Maybe you should try sleeping it off," Vince suggested.

"Can we listen to some jazz?" Howard asked hopefully.

"Aww do we have to?" Vince groaned.

"Pwease," the little boy begged.

"Alright, but you're have to use headphones because I'm allergic,"

"Yay," Howard yelled and ran off to get his stereo and headphones. Vince picked up the bucket and followed the toddler to their bedroom.

"Where's your stereo then?" the electro boy asked.

"I think it's under my bed," Howard said and crawled under his bed. He shuffled around until eventually he came out with his ancient jazz stereo.

"Ok, get into bed and I think you should try and sleep so you feel better. There's a bucket here incase you're sick again," Vince said and then inwardly gasped _what am I saying. When did I get so knowing about this stuff? _Vince's brain cell said.

"Do I have to?" the toddler moaned.

"Yes and when you wake up we can all have some Angel Delight," Vince promised.

"What flavour?" Howard demanded.

"Ummm, chocolate?" Vince quickly said.

"Alright I'll go. But you have to stay," the little boy pouted and climbed into bed with his jazz music playing.

Vince watched his friend fall asleep and then he bolted to the kitchen in search of the Angel Delight.

He remembered begging Howard a couple of weeks ago to buy him some Angel Delight. The northerner had eventually given in to his Little Man and brought 3 packets to keep Vince at bay. Vince smiled at the memory and grabbed the last remaining packet from the cupboard.

Angel Delight was about the only recipe that Vince could actually make without asking another adult for help, or in really desperate situations Leroy's 5 year old nephew.

Vince snuck back to the bedroom where Howard was still asleep. He quietly opened his cupboard and pulled out a large purple box with rainbows and stars glued on to it. Inside the box was where Vince kept his secret supply of sweets and ice cream toppings. He rumedged around and found some sprinkles to put on the Angel Delight.

The electro boy went back to the kitchen and put about 2 pounds of sprinkles in the Angel Delight, all he had to do now was wait for Howard to wake up


	6. Chapter 6

**Bonjour mes amis. Once again I'm really really sorry for this late update. I've recently started at college and the amount of homework we get is pure evil :'( So I'm going to update whenever I can but they will probably take a while. **

In Vince and Howard's room the jazz music was still playing quietly as the toddler slept. Howard was in a deep sleep, infused by his jazz trance. Even as an adult jazz could still act as a lullaby for Howard and in a toddler's body the effect was even more powerful.

Vince was sat in the living room. By now it was 6 o'clock and his friend still wasn't awake. The electro boy decided to have some dinner (a pot noodle) and if Howard wasn't awake by 7 then he'd just let him sleep.

A reminder for one of the boy's favourite shows, The IT Crowd flashed up on the TV just as Vince's meal was ready. He smiled as Jen and Roy fought over whether or not he should take some horrible girl out on a date.

When Vince finished his pot noodle and the TV show finished he tiptoed quietly to the bedroom. After about five minutes Howard opened his eyes and yawned.

"You ok?" Vince asked.

Howard replied by simply nodding.

"Do you want some dinner?"

"Yeah, carry me Vince," Howard held his arms up like a baby.

"Ok you lazy child," Vince grinned and carried his friend to the kitchen where the toddler noticed the Angel Delight.

"Can we eat it now? I'm hungry," Howard said.

"Yeah it's a healthy meal," the electro boy smiled at his handy work. Vince spooned the chocolate pudding into two smaller bowls and the friends tucked in.

"This be yummy Vince," the little boy smiled.

"Mmmm thanks,"

When they finished Howard toddled into the living room and attempted to jump on the sofa. He missed it and fell onto the floor.

Vince was washing the two bowls up while this was going on but he heard the crash and ran to his friend's aid.

"What happened?" Vince demanded.

"I try to jump but I fall and hurt my leg," Howard sniffled. He really didn't want to cry, if this happened in a normal situation then it would be funny. His leg was really sore though.

Vince nearly cried himself when he saw how brave Howard was trying to be. "Hey, don't worry about crying, everybody does it especially toddlers," Vince picked the toddler up and held him close.

"But I wanna be brave," Howard said into Vince's jumpsuit.

"You are. Now come on, let's watch some telly," Vince put The Simpsons on and stroked the toddler's hair to calm him down.

Eventually the little boy sat properly on Vince's knee and looked up at him.

"Vince,"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to the park tomorrow?" Howard pleaded.

"Yeah that's a genius idea," Vince smiled. "I'm just gonna go and sort my bed out," Howard rolled onto the sofa and the electro boy got up to go to the kitchen.

Vince found to his relief that his sheets were clean and dry without them shrinking or anything. Now all he had to do was put them on his bed. Vince started by putting the pillow cases onto his pillows and the sheet onto the mattress, which was the easy part.

"_How does the duvet cover go on the duvet?" _Vince's brain cell asked.

After about 15 minutes of wrestling with the duvet cover Vince finally managed to sort his bed out.

"VINCE!" Howard called from the living room. Vince ran into the living room.

"Yeah?" He panted.

"I'm bored," the toddler pouted.

"We could go to the Velvet Onion," Vince suggested.

"What if Fossil tries to mole...est...moolest...fuck you," Howard eventually said. Vince stared at Howard and then burst out laughing.

"What?" the toddler glared at his friend.

"It's just... it's just a toddler swearing," Vince giggled. "It's so cute,"

"Can we watch a film instead?" Howard grumbled, he didn't like being cute.

"Yeah, can we watch Finding Nemo? That film's genius," the electro boy begged.

"All right," the toddler sighed.

Vince squealed in delight and put the film on.

Howard fell asleep about half an hour into the film and Vince was beginning to feel tired too, but the electro boy refused to give up on Finding Nemo. His body could wait for sleep.

When the film finished Vince was so tired he felt like he was drunk. He picked Howard up and staggered into their bedroom. After the toddler was safely in bed Vince changed into his pyjamas and collapsed into bed.

The next morning Howard was the first to wake up. He had now fully recovered from his flu and was ready to go to the park.

The toddler starred at the sleeping Vince. Should he wake him up or let him sleep. Howard decided to climb into Vince's bed and wait for him to wake up.

When Vince first started to wake up he noticed that something small and warm was pressed against his chest. His eyes opened to reveal his toddler friend.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Vince asked.

"No, just couldn't sleep,"

"Do you want feeding then?"

Howard nodded "Can we go park afters?"

"Ok, but I need to do my hair first,"

The toddler rolled his eyes "Can I has Corn Flakes pwease Vincey?"

"Yeah come on, I fancy some food," Vince's belly growled as he spoke.

Vince sorted Howard's cereal out and then started on his own breakfast. The electro boy started by grilling some toast, then he spread it with strawberry jam, followed by whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles. This was a Vince Noir special

Howard groaned when he saw this "You gonna be sick Vince,"

"No I won't, this is a healthy breakfast," Vince stuck his tongue out at the toddler.

"Just hurry up so we can go to the park," Howard jumped about impatiently.

An hour and after three fights over clothes and hair later, Vince and Howard were at the park.

"Swings Vince," Howard ran towards the swings, dragging Vince behind him. Just before Howard reached the swings he saw someone who made him stop dead.

She was tall, had long blonde hair and green eyes. Even a toddler's body Howard still felt butterflies in his stomach. Vince noticed Howard's reaction and smiled. Barbra was with Alex.

"Hi again," Vince grinned at Barbra.

"Hey. Small world," Barbra smiled back.

"This is my mate Howard, he isn't really a toddler. We live with a shaman and Howard drank some water from the fountain of youth," Vince explained.

Howard glared at Vince and subtly punched his leg to shut him up. Surprisingly though Barbra didn't grab her daughter and run away.

"Oh yeah, my brother Dennis is the head shaman," Barbra told them.

"So are you a shaman too?" Vince asked.

"No, Dennis wouldn't train his little sister," Barbra pouted.

"Vince will you push me on the swing pwease?" Alex asked.

"Yeah ok," Vince put the little girl into a baby swing, leaving Howard and Barbra to talk.

"So... um... what sort of music do you like?" Howard asked.

"Alex will kill me for saying this but my favourite music is jazz,"

"I love jazz and stationary," Howard smiled.

"Organised stationary is the backbone of any good business," Barbra said.

"That's what I keep tryna tell Vince, but he don't listen,"

"Vince seems to be a lot like Alex, she's only 2 but already she has an obsession with fashion, Gary Numan and sweets,"

"That does sound exactly like Vince," Howard shivered and he looked at the electro boy and girl who were walking towards them.

"Doing you fancy coming back to ours for a coffee? Alex wants to see my wardrobe," Vince smiled at the little girl.

"Pwease mummy," Alex begged.

"Ok, I don't see why not. We weren't going to do anything else today,"

"Thank you mummy," Barbra was jumped at by her daughter.

Even though she had only just met Howard and Vince, Barbra could tell that they were nice people. She'd also never met someone who agreed with her about stationary. It would be interesting to see what the adult version of Howard was like.


End file.
